Rayne's Journal

As y'all can see I have not posted in ages. The reason for this is that I now have my own journal on my own site. If you want to keep up with what is going on please check http://www.rayneydaze.com/journal
I also have a bento blog at http://bento.raynesworld.net
Please go and leave comments! No spam though :D

My mom is staying with our friends, Kenneth and Lisa, far a bit to help Lisa after her mother's death. Today (yesterday, whatever, I haven't been to bed yet so it is still today to me :P ) they went for a cook out at a friends house. They had a bunch of fireworks to set off, mostly bottle rockets and roman candles but they had some big ones too. Before I continue I need to let you know that Kenneth is a fireman, was even wearing his fireman t-shirt. He was setting off some of the bigger fireworks that go off with all the swirlies and stuff. Well, he set off one and as soon as he lit it he knew something is wrong so he yelled for everyone to run. The firework went off but instead of going up in the air it went off it went off on the ground. All the guys scattered as they got pelted with all the pretty swirlies and stuff. They were smart enough to grab up the other fireworks as they ran so they wouldn't catch on fire. After they got away one of the guys told Kenneth that he was smoking, he told him know, he didn't smoke anymore. The guy told him no, that his shirt was smoking. It was then that Kenneth realized his shirt was on fire. Ok, everyone remember back to elementary school when they told us what to do if you catch on fire? Remember stop, drop, and roll? Well, Kenneth, our manly fireman didn't seem to remember that bit of information. What does he do? He starts trying to put out the fire by.... are you ready?... smacking it with the bunch of bottle rockets he had in his hand! I will give you a moment now to read that last sentence again and picture it, fireman, in fireman t-shirt, on fire, beating fire with FIREWORKS!..... Finished? Yes, the bottle rockets went off, showering the men with even more pyrotechnics they had to flee from. I have a feeling this 4th of July will be remembered by all involved for a long time. Please people, if nothing else remember, STOP, DROP, and ROLL!!!

Saturday night I went to an Origami & Beyond party at mom's. It was so much fun! Origami & Beyond is a penis puppetry show and guessing game. It was so great. The guy kept standing real close to Dennise and making her blush. We took lots of pictures, he even posed for pictures with us.

Here is one of him with (from left to right) Aunt LaVonne, Dennise, him (Bryan - Jake was censored), me, and mom:

Ok, I will say this right now. This is BULLSHIT! So he made a few off color remarks while angry. SO WHAT? If this is the case I want personal apologies from every rapper who has used the words honkey, cracker, or whitey. I want each one who has made derogatory remarks about "white" people, oh, and while you're at it I also want apologies from everyone who has publicly bashed women. No, no, wait, this goes even deeper. Ok, EVERY person who has EVER said ANY off color remark about ANY other group (race, sex, religion, sexuality, political affiliation, economic standing, eye color, physical ability, education, sexual preference, etc) should be REQUIRED BY LAW to go and apologize to EVERY INDIVIDUAL PERSON in that group. Then everyone alive can drop everything and spend the rest of their lives apologizing to everyone else on the planet. Everyone at some point has said something derogatory about some group. You may not have even said it where anyone could really hear youu but you have done it, most of the time not even meaning anything malicious by it. People just need to get a life and move the fuck on.

This was a quote by Jeffrey Tambor on Comic Relief 2006 tonight

Well it's hard not to look at the situation in New Orleans, you know, people trying to rebuild their scrambled lives and think to yourself "Well why bother? I mean is it even worth it?" Well don't feel bad about that, that thought, it crosses everyones mind. It's merely the right question to ask and to anyone who understands what's at stake the answer is obvious. "Yes." Yes, of course we rebuild we don't throw a city away. America, America, America is not disposable. Is it impossible? Is is? No. Is it improbable? Maybe. Is it inconvenient? Most defiantly, but it is not a choice at all. You don't walk away from your life because your life has become inconvenient. It's your LIFE. You're stuck with it. So you roll up your sleeves, you fix it like the Brandhurst family from New Orleans

It was followed by a segment on a family who's father was a fisherman before they lost everything. There were a lot of quotes in there that I hope to post in the near future that made me cry so hard about how water brings both life and destruction. This Comic Relief was such an emotional ping pong game for me. It made me laugh, then cry, then laugh some more, then cry again and laugh while crying. I guess it hit me that way because I was there. I was hit by this. I lost everything to this storm. I've asked myself many times "Well why bother? I mean is it even worth it?" When I start thinking of everything I lost, my ceramic ugly chicken that my grandma (on my mom's side) loved so much, my hand crocheted table cloth that my grandma (on my dad's side) made for my wedding, and so many other things that can never be replaced I get so depressed and start wondering "Why bother?" But then I look at my family, friends, and Nick who survived and think "That's why." If I gave up ever time my life became inconvenient I wouldn't have survived childhood let alone the rest of my life.

OMG! I have a new obsession online called Maple Story. It is a 2D sidescrolling MMORPG (massive multi-player role playing game). If anyone wants to find me on there my char name is RevRayne and I am usually in the Windia world on channel 20. It is totally addictive!

On another happy note, my mom contacted the lady who adopted my 3 cousins and found out that they want to meet us and get to know their family. I haven't seen them since they were little kids. I can't wait until we can all get together! I will post pictures as soon as I get them. Later I will also post my Halloween pics. :D

Why is it really good shows seem to just fade away leaving so many questions and so many stories unfinished. It sucks! I'm really hoping the Sci-Fi channel would pick up Dead Like Me. I mean I know they wouldn't likely be able to get all the same actors since several of them are off doing other things now but if they could just finish the story. BTW, can you tell what I'm watching right now? ~lol~

Well, Dennise left yesterday before she was able to help me get to the closet and look for things. I got in there today though and found a tote I'd been looking for and there was still some YanYan and a lychee flavored DayBaby Jelly Drink. YUMMY! There was also some chocolates and my electric screwdriver, and other stuffs that had been missing. As soon as I can I'm going to look in the closet again, I'm sure there are lots of other things I've been missing in there. When Nick cleans he just throws things in boxes and puts the boxes in the closet. Well, I'm going to stop typing for now, I'm getting eyestrain from the screen.

VoicePost 42K 0:12

(no transcription available)

I was just testing out this whole voice post thing. Nothing special and keep in mind I am very tired.

This really sucks balls. It sputtered snow again today. According to the news it is supposed to warm back up next week. We got the Halloween lights up tonight. I need to get some more decorations since I lost all my old ones. I'm not sure if I mentioned it but I finally got an electric scooter, but I lost the keys. It is an older one and not in the greatest shape, but it works and that's all I need. I plan to decorate it up and give it a touch of my own unique style. I'm also getting started on learning how to make chainmaille. It's not as hard as I thought it might be. So far I've just been cutting links and looking at the patterns of things but as soon as I can get my pliers I can start working on stuff. Anyway, I've getting very tired and should be getting to sleep now.

Well, I got to see "Over the Hedge" and the new remake of "The Omen" tonight, actually still watching The Omen. A friend works at a video store so he gets to bring home movies before they come out on DVD. They are both pretty good and I will likely get my own copies of them both. It is still cold here, it has been sputtering snow off and on, nothing really sticking though. Oh, we made a big ass meatloaf for dinner tonight. This time I replaced some of the meat with ground sausage and it worked great. There were almost no leftovers.

Ok, I know I haven't posted in a while. A lot of nothing much has been going on. Alex, a friend from Mississippi moved in and we just found out we have to move to another apartment. As of the first of next month there will only be 2 units occupied in this building so there is no sense in heating a whole building for two units. The other apartment is a lot closer to the office and will be easier to get in and out of. They are going to hire movers to move us so all will be good. :) What isn't good is we had snow flurries today. Have I mentioned that I hate the cold? I HATE it with a passion. Well, ok, maybe not that much but close. ~lol~

Well, I guess it is time for me to share some pics of the aminals. (Yes, I know that is spelled wrong. It is how I say it. Deal with it) Here they are:



This is Marilyn (after Monroe, not Manson) She is a chihuahua/feist mix and 100% spoiled brat dog. She hates to have her picture taken so don't expect many pics of her. I had to trick her to get this one.


This is Pretty Boy. I didn't give him that name, he came with it and was too old to change it. He is a little camera hog. After his first pic he started fluffing and posing for his picture.


This is Hideki. Da buuuuuuny. Unlike most bunnies he loves to cuddle. He could care less about getting his picture taken though.

Yeah,, yeah, I know I haven't posted in a while but as you remember I never promised regular postings. :-P Anyway, I was going through some files and came across a rant that I had written, intending to post when I got a chance. So... here it is:


Ahhh ok Well I try not to pay attention to the politics here, I'm afraid if I did it would scare the hell out of me. I hate the president and the current government so I just don't pay attention unless it makes it into a comedy show or something Now with the Fema thing I couldn't help but notice. My whole town was flattened by Hurricane Katrina, my house is sitting on my car. The shelter I was in didn't get food or water for three days and I didn't get medical attention until I got out of there and up here after a week. All over the news they talk about New Orleans, New Orleans wasn't even hit, they got flooded, they are up and running like normal. In my home town there are people still living in tents and camper trailers and now they are being told they can't rebuild until mid-December this year. Fema had trailer parks open for people in the campers but now they are closing them down and telling people they have to give the trailers back this September. Hmmmm, no where to park a trailer that has to be given back 3 months before they can even START rebuilding their homes? Forgive my language but that is fucked. We've lost everything we've owned and they are just sticking it to us worse. Oh, and not to mention the looting. Know who are the main looters? Fema employees and the contractors hired by Fema!!! Ok... sorry.... rant over

Ok, I took some of these so here are the results:

You scored as Perky Goff. You are a perky goff! You like cute things, glitter, and scary carnivals. You think that the contrast between playful innocence and dark corruption is tantalizing, which is why you like to dress up like an evil dollie. </td> Perky Goff 63% Cyber-goth 58% Death Rocker 58% Anything-Goes Goth 50% Ethereal Goth 50% Romantic Goth 42% Fantasy Goth 42% Understanding Outsider 42% Industrial/Rivet-Head 38% Old-school Goth 29% Confused Outsider 4% What subcategory of Goth best fits you? created with QuizFarm.com

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Lo! Who is that, sprinting amidst the tundra! It is Rayne, hands clutching a vorpal blade! She bellows mightily: "I'm going to pulverize you with such wanton cruelty, you'll reincarnate as an X-file!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

I guess things may get better. Nick called me on his first break and apologized for this morning and admitted to being an ass. Seems there may be a chance to talk things out so I can tell him about how I've been feeling. We were both tired and at each others throats. If anyone out there is actually reading my journal, this is a place I go to vent, when I have no one to talk to I come here and blow up. It is as close as I an get to therapy. So please don't really pay to much mind to my outbursts. They are just a product of my emotions at the moment. I refuse to go back and edit or delete my entries when the situation has past as I am here for me, not you. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

Please? I'd really like to know. I thought I did but apparently according to Nick this morning it has all been an act. Am I just stupid or something? Am I just so incapable of being loved? Last I knew we were getting married but now I'm wondering if he was serious or just asked me to get my parents off his back. I should have known though, it has been years since he has kissed me like I was something more than a sister, hell, last guy to kiss me with some passion was a gay guy. Maybe once a week I get a little peck on the lips and never with a hug. I don't even remember the last time he has hugged me or even reached out to touch me other than to grab my tit or something joking around. There have been lots of time all I needed was a hug but was left to cry alone. I want to tell him how I feel but I'm afraid he will just blow me off. I wish I knew what to do.

I know, I'm an idiot. We went to OddCon last weekend, took my camera, comp, everything, and took absolutely no pictures. Zip. Nada. Zilch. Null. Not a single picture. We were far too busy doing stuff and by the time I thought of it it was too late.Nick bought us all t-shirts and I got some books. We got turned on to a Japanese candy called CoffeeBeat which are basically like coffee flavored m&m's. We got to meet the artist who drew the Munchkin cards and won a couple autographed cards. Well actually Nick won them but I helped him do so. One of the LAN guys there fixed my compy for me, he was such a sweety. Nick got totally wasted Friday and puked several times. I got quite toasty Saturday night, a guy was carrying around a gallon of "green stuff". I downed 2 glasses and enjoyed the look of shock when I asked for a 3rd and 4th. He seemed even more shocked when I told him the next day I was only toasty a couple hours and had no trace of a hangover. These skinny little boys don't realize how much booze an old fat lady can put away. :D Everyone loved Maureen and it looks like next year we will be asked to help more now that they know us. This Con was A LOT smaller than what we are used to although this is a very young con, only it's 6th year. Well, anyway, we had a blast and took no pics.

Well, not much has been happening lately so today is rather exciting. The dweeb came over last night and we are preparing to go to OddCon today. Our plan is we will just stay up all night tonight and I've reserved a hotel room for tomorrow. I've got Maureen dress and ready to go, though I'm not ready at all. Well, maybe I should go now and start getting ready. I will try to post through out the weekend, if not I'll post when it's over.

They just now showed up at Cindy's. This is a real relief. She has been living on her property in a Fema trailer, breathing in the mold and mildew. Everyday she wakes up and looks out on the ruins of her life and that just makes it hard to get on with things. It's seems they have finally gotten their act together and are staying in one area until it is clear instead of bouncing all over town. Now if they would just start letting everyone start their building then maybe we can get this all behind us.

No word on what is going on with the fire yet. Mom said the winds died down last night so hopefully they got it under control.